an·tic·i·pa·tion [an-tis-uh-pey-shuhn]
–noun
1. the act of anticipating or the state of being anticipated.
2. realization in advance; foretaste.
3. expectation or hope.
4. previous notion; slight previous impression.
5. intuition, foreknowledge, or prescience.

It has been gray here for what feels like many weeks. We have had lots of snow and rain this winter as well as just plain gray days. Everyone still seemed to go on with life but there was this lacking. Starting yesterday though the sun has burst forth! You can hear kids playing out side and the birds are fluttering here and there with their joyful songs. There are more people out even on the roads driving around. People are smiling and committing on the weather everywhere I go.
I was pondering all this as I ran errands this morning. I was thinking about this season of lent and how I long for Easter morning to celebrate Christ and the fact that He has risen and that He is not dead! This is truly a time in the church calendar of anticipation. Lent falls during the change from Winter to Spring it is so visual for my heart…death to life. A true season of anticipation…anticipating Easter, anticipating Spring and ultimately anticipating Christ return again. My mind and heart are taking all of this in during these last few weeks of Lent.
Continuing to ponder I think back to the gray that I have felt outside for so long and rejoicing in these sunny days…I feel that God truly invites me to seasons of gray. There are definitely season in my life that are hard and I wonder why and question and search…sometimes God shows me why and other times it is left a mystery. When the gray ends in my heart and the sunshine burst forth again in a new season I feel that I can enjoy dancing in the sun a little more as the gray was so gray and the sun is so bright. I can almost bottle up the sunshine and carry it with me remembering that there are different seasons and different times. Each different and unique but each stair stepping the other that God might mold me and shape me…that I might have more of His heart and not my own selfish heart.
The anticipation of Spring, of Easter of Christ return wells up in my soul! I l-o-n-g and yearn for these things in this season. I have had a taste of these things and I am so hungry for more!

Lately in our family we have been learning about patience! I wish that I could say that I am a pro at it by now but alas I am still in just the beginning stages of learning patience! The joy of that is that I get to learn right along with the kiddos!
Today I was feeling pretty good about my patience (always a sign of a downfall ahead). I noticed this afternoon though that I was feeling pretty anxious constantly glancing up to look out the window. I hear my head chanting come on, come on!
Turns out that waiting for the UPS truck to come is a lot like waiting for the ice cream truck to come!!!
We have a little song that we sing at our house thanks to this CD!
Be patient, be patient, don’t be in such a hurry
When you get impatient, you only start to worry
Remember, remember, that God is patient too
And think of all the times when others had to wait for you.
I must warn you that the song is sung by a snail but fitting and helpful even when you are waiting on the UPS truck to come!
I am off to sing some more!

I jumped on the computer to put together and embroidery design for end of the year teacher gifts but you know how you get on the computer and get distracted and then time flies and you never accomplish what you set out to do. . .well, this will be one of those times.

Every now and then I enjoy reading the Living Proof Ministry blog (by Beth Moore and her daughters) and today her youngest daughter posted regarding a question she had been asked. . .
“What do you think your Mom has done right in raising you up in the Lord?”
Her Answer:
“. . . But, I think today I realized that it has to be her example of serving the Lord without hesitation. For not allowing her fear of failure to dictate her decisions. . .”

I have had to read that several times to really drink it all in and to really grasp the words. I don’t want my fear of failure to dictate my decisions! Do I struggle with this? YES! Remember the quilt? I want to serve Him and others without hesitation but yet I do hesitate so often because I am so focused on me! I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning what it looks like to live out what He has invited me to. It is hard to step out in faith and walk being obediant to Him. Can you imagine fleshing out those words before your children? Wow! There is such a bigger picture that I so often miss because I am so focused on me and my fears. I don’t want my fear of failure to dictate who I am!

A little something to ponder this mother’s day weekend!

The ironing had piled up so nap time found me ironing today (not a normal occurrence at our house hubby was just getting desperate for clothing). I was ironing one of brothers little tiny 2T shirts and then next in the pile was a Dada shirt. For some reason today the size difference struck me and I heard the wee small voice in my heart saying, “It won’t be long before he is grown”. These pictures don’t capture the size difference well but I will post them anyway (what is a post without pictures). I want to capture the days well that I have with the kiddos. I want to be fully present in their lives but sometimes I find it so hard. Sometimes I find myself wanting to invite them into whatever I am doing instead of coming to where they are. I am there but I am not present with them. They invite me often to read and imagine with them but I find myself caught up in the chore of the moment trying to accomplish my list or the things that I want to do. When I do meet them where they are I often hear myself rushing the time. There are times to invite them into the activities that I am doing like cleaning, cooking, etc. but I really want to take more time to slow to be on their level to meet them where they are to be fully present with them. Soon they will be grown!

Brother’s Shirt:

Dada’s Shirt:

It has been wonderful to slow down this month and to really take in Advent and the anticipation of Christmas. Brad’s sister gave us a precious gift of handmade Jesse Tree ornaments last year for Christmas so it has been sweet to read the Bible and share those stories with the kiddos every night. Let me assure you that these family times have been filled with chaos of a 1.5 year old pulling hair and flopping all around and a 3.5 year old screaming because of the pulled hair and chatting about random thoughts that have come to mind but the time has still been sweet. I trust that God is tucking away words in their hearts that they will remember even in the midst of the chaos. It has been good for me to remember the stories of God’s faithfulness and His promises fulfilled. While anticipating Christmas and remembering Christ born as a baby it has brought peace to my heart to remember that the baby grew to be a man and died on the cross to save me from my sins and He rose again from the dead! He is seated in Heaven but He is coming back! I am anticipating His return!

While making breakfast this morning I heard sister in the next room singing. . .You take my morning and turn it into dancing. This is a line from a praise and worship song called Restoration. The line from the song really reads you take my mourning and turn it into dancing but it was so sweet to think on her words as she sang them over and over. It is Christmas Eve! I am giddy with anticipation just as the children are and He really has taken my morning and my mourning and turned it to dancing. I have great reason to dance, worship, sing, praise and rejoice! I have a King who will one day return for me. He loves me so much that He sent His son that I might have life! I have LIFE!

Wishing you LIFE and a Christmas full of dancing, remembering and anticipating!

Adrienne from Some of a Kind passed along this little “sweet” blog award to me and with it comes more fun questions so here we go. . .

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die. . .(these are more wants/desires than plans. . .hope that is okay)
1.) I just really want to LIVE!
2.) I want to LIVE life to the fullest giving my Creator GLORY!
3.) I want to be a Joyful Broad Crossing for our children and the generations that will follow.
4.) I want to share more of Christ with my children and others who cross our path.
5.) I want to be a Help Mate to my husband
6.) I want to see an actual real live HUGE whale in the ocean. It would be great if he/she would jump out of the water and do a little spin as well when I see him/her.
7.) Visit many more places

7 Things I Do Now. . .
1.) Laugh
2.) Sew
3.) Read
4.) Play
5.) Worship
6.) Create
7.) Fellowship

7 Things I Can’t Do. . .
1.) Sing well
2.) Crochet
3.) Knit
4.) Fly on my own (it would be so cool)
5.) Be thrifty
6.) Be dirty
7.) Remember (I am so with you Adrienne)

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex. . .
My hubby. . .need I say more!

7 Things That I Say Most Often. . .
1.) I love you!
2.) Wow!
3.) No way!
4.) AAAaaaahhhhhhhhh! (Yes, randomly I will just totally say that!)
5.) That’s really neat!
6.) Let’s play clean up!
7.) Let’s go outside!

7 Celebrities That I Most Admire. . .
Yes, well, not so much!

7 Favorite Foods. . .
1.) Mashed Potatoes
2.) Chips and Salsa
3.) Chinese
4.) Chocolate
5.) Brownies
6.) Pot Roast
7.)Spaghetti

7 Bloggers Who Need To Do This. . .
Hmmm, lets see. . .how about. . .
1.) Daisyeyes (she is in the middle of a super cute little house project that you can check out here)
2.) Are We There Yet (she is going to be a household name someday, I tell you this lady is going to go places! )
3.) Notes From Em (she sews incredibly and she makes a great banana bread muffin)
4.) Musings From Madison (Check out all their tasty recipes; we are trying a few this week)
5.) Nashvillians Now (she loves her family and keeps them healthy in creative ways)
6.) Lemons and Lemonade (I love how real she is and that she is not afraid to be her! Love that!)
7.) Rockin Smockin (she sometimes stops by here and she is incredibly crafty herself)

Mondays are grocery store day at our house. I am not sure why I do that to myself on Monday morning but alas it just works. Sister was singing and dancing her way through the store today as normal. I was not paying a lot of attention to what she was singing just trying to keep her moving and away from stacking things as she loves to do with the yogurt, butter, etc. while also trying to keep brother entertained (poor guy always stuck shopping with the women). We finally finished and payed and I came out of survival mode to listen in to the words that sister was actually singing. She was singing over and over again, “I am constant and I am HOLY!” She has my problem of remembering words to songs and their order in the song but I knew exactly what she was singing. I played a song during my workshop on Sabbath a few weeks ago which embodies a great picture of Sabbath REST to me and while I was away Brad played this song for her in the midst of her asking repetitively where I was that weekend and it stuck. Here are the words. . .

I Am by Jill Phillips

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today

CHORUS:
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I’m the only one who knows your heart’s desires
Your heart’s desires

Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light

I know you through and through;
There’s no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide

CHORUS(2x)

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest

I do feel that this is at the heart of Sabbath REST. I feel that God sings this over us! Come rest! Come let out your sighs! He is constant, near, peace, HOLY, wise and He knows our hearts! He knows what we long for even better than we know. When we rest in His presence, when we rest in His word He meets us!

So back to the story. . . Sister is singing this song and it just hits me that I am SO focused on survival (of the grocery store even) that I am missing “ordinary moments of God’s GRACE all around me-moments that He would like to use to replenish and refuel me” (taken from GRACE an invitation to a way of life by Ortberg, Penderson and Pling). I am not being present! I am not hearing the song of praise that my little one is lifting up. I am missing smiles that brother is giving strangers. I am missing the warmth of the sun as I walk into the store. I am missing the smiles of strangers to my children. Why am I missing all these things. . .because I am so intent on getting in and out and moving on. I don’t want to miss God’s grace in the midst of my day. I want to be present and breath it in deeply. There is a HOLY God who is constant in my every moment! I don’t want to miss that!!!

We had to get out of the house Wednesday! Both of the kiddos have colds which brings on the grumps plus it was a rainy day which made the house feel confined so we headed to the mall! We parked in the parking garage which we never do but alas it was raining and not worth being drenched getting the kids in and out. Well, since we parked in the parking garage we walked past the escalator to get to the elevator (we generally take the elevator since brother is usually in the stroller). Sister kept staring at it and we watched some people ride it and she still seemed very confused. I told her that it was kind of like steps that move so that you can go up or down without walking. She looked at me like I was off my rocker and said, “why don’t you just walk up the steps?”. Ahhh, we tend to be a pretty lazy culture as pointed out by a preschooler!

I was reading Sister a Bible story the other day from The Jesus Storybook Bible about David and Goliath. This quote from the story has stuck with me for a few days now and I thought that I would share.

It isn’t how strong you are or how many swords and spears you have that will save you-it is God who saves you! This is God’s battle. And God always wins his battles!

I constantly try to fight battles on my own strength and become quickly tired and worn. It was wonderful to be reminded that it is God who fights battles and saves. He does always win His battles but not always in the way that we think He will.

So, I have declared it Spring! I am done with winter! If we are not going to get a good snow I will just move on (here is hoping that the weather agrees with me because I am switching out all the kiddos winter clothes for their spring clothes). To welcome spring back I have broken out the Ice Tea Maker! Ahhh, this is a dear friend of mine in the spring and summer months almost a necessity here in the south (at least for those of us who grew up here) . I gave up caffeine a long time ago so just about one of the only ways to get caffeine free tea is to make it your self, but I just cannot make normal tea…it would be too boring! This will be odd to a few of you I know but I really like it and you have to try it before you can knock it…deal!? I love putting a little bit of orange juice in my tea! Odd, I know! Maybe 1/4 OJ and 3/4 Tea in a glass with lots of ice of course! It just says warm weather to me for some reason. It even looks a little odd in the glass but honest it is tasty!!!